Funny marriage advice

Funny advice for marriage

Advice for bride: don't expect your husband will change after marriage.
For groom: don't expect your wife won't change!
On your wedding day, remember you can't buy happiness - but a luxury home and a few sports cars on the driveway could help!
Advice for man: marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is... a husband!
Advice for her: he stole your heart, so steal his last name!
One piece of advice for a successful marriage - Keep her happy!
Advice for newlywed: you love each other because you hate the same stuff!
Funny advice for both: the happiest people don't HAVE the best of everything, they just MAKE the best of everything.
Funny marriage advice for groom
Funny marriage advice: marriage should not be about looking at each other but looking in the same direction!
Advice for a husband: never laugh at wife's choices, because you are on of them!
Don't sweat the small stuff on your wedding day - Your marriage has only just begun!
Two things are necessary to keep wife happy. First, let her think she's having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Keep calm! It's only a wedding...
A simple "I love you" means more than money.
(American singer Frank Sinatra)
Funny toast for newlyweds:
Here's to love and laughter,
And happily ever after.
As a husband and wife
Starts ther new life,
Let's us toast together
Their true love forever!
Funny bride and groom dogs on their wedding

Funny quotes for newlywed

Marriage is not always 50-50. Some days you will wake up and may have to give 90% and your spouse will give only 10%. Other days you may give just 25% and your husband will have to put in the rest 75%!
Five magic words for a successful marriage: I'm sorry, it's my fault!
Some wedding advice from the wisdom of the ages: Happy Wife, Happy Life!
Do all things with love!
You may now update your Facebook status...
Remember marriage is like a flower - Keep it fed and watered so it can blossom and grow!
If at the end of the wedding party you are married to the one you love - then everything went perfectly!
Congratulations! You have found that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Advice for husband: If at first time you don't succeed - try doing it the way your wife told you!
Congrats on your promotion from "When will you marry?" to "When are you going have babies???"
Funny quote about marriage: Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops...
Advice for clever bride: A man can be the head of the house, but a woman is a neck and she may turn the head any direction she wants!
For woman: from now you can eat whatever you want!

Find more funny wedding quotes

A lot of other jokey quotes about marriage.

Funny card for newlywed with an advice